and no one likes to be alone

i told my aunt that i wanna go back to my house. but i didnt meant to lie to her. the thing about lying is... you just want to protect them from knowing the truth. and getting worried about you. so, its a good thing right? hehe. (ajaran siapa kau pakai ni fie?:p) so yesterday i had to tell her that ive got a company in my house. but the truth is, theres no one there. kak huda+kak ekin were already went back to their hometown since it was still a school holiday.

ITS JUST... i dont like being burden to anybody. thats the reason why i decide to live alone for these 2 weeks. i guess its not that scary since im already 25. theres nothing to be afraid of. im just worried about my car. if theres something wrong (Nauzubillah), i dont know who should i call. this is why i dont like being away from my family and friends. (-__-)" oh maro. aku doa kau kena posting kat jb. haha. aminnn.XDD

i left my aunt's house after Maghrib. sesat la jugak on the way back from Larkin to Bandar Uda. because i always used shortcut every time i went to her house. but last night, i had to use the other way sebab jalan short cut tu takleh jalan waktu malam. it was tooo creepyyyy+scary.

arrived at my apartment. and my dad called. huuu. daddy's instinct. my dad selalu camtu. bila anak dia cam susah, mesti dia call. and he was so surprised when i told him that i went back to my apartment. i dont like live in someone else's house. it feels so awkward.T.T no matter how good and nice treatment that they gave to you, i still felt like an outsider. kalau datang time wiken je boleh la.^^ besides i was close with kak wa. shes still had on-call everyday. houseman memang camtu. cant do anything about that. so i felt so alone. okay. apart from that, i cant wear shorts and be 'im-sexy-and-i-know-it' if i stay there. hehe. thats a really valid reason i can come out with.:p

and upon reaching my apartment. i looked at kak huda's totally-messy-room. i was like..

HomeSweetHomeeeee!!!~

biarla tade bibik pon. i really feel at ease. Alhamdulillah. baca yasin. dan sekarang kita boleh bergembira sorang-sorang.:)

The end!

Note: Maka, aktiviti harini selepas kerja adalah mengemas rumah. dengan semangatnya beli plastik sampah tadi.XDD dont worry Umi. i will still go and help kak biha this weekend. hehe.^.^

..

..

and oh! He said...

"you became more and more independent now. kalau tak dulu manja gla kott."

"haha!!~ (is that a compliment?) aah kan. saya pon tak sangka.XDD"

it doesnt need to be perfect

i was fully booked in June. ive a really compact schedule during my weekend. minggu ni bolehla stay Rajawali Bintang. nexweek ill be back to Melaka to attend my cousin's wed. and luckily his wed will be at Restaurant. so it wont give me too many hard works during the big day isnt it?^^ *ujar si efie yang rajen.

okay. on 15-17 june, ill have a camping trip in Taman Negara Pahang. im not even sure about the place. still need a confirmation. its Ardh's trip! tapiiii sy yang bukan staff Ardh ni yang sebok nak join. tak malu kan? ngeh3. oh. please ignore the fact that i hate sweating. but how can i easily agreed to join them? oohh. i miss them so much.^.^ (dengan harapan tolongla jangan paksa saya jungle trekking tempat yang jauhhhhhh. pleaseee..):b

i just received this!

its a wed invitation card. my dear esther gave it to me.

i love the design and concept. and that derpina is soooo cool. haha. i am actually considering to attend after ive got the card. tapi kat KL kott. its one whole different case if i also live in KL. huhuhuhu.

so, congrats on ur wed dear. wish you a great happiness. and live happily ever after with your cute husband. (okay sumpah tunang dia tu kiut!XDD)

different stage of life

my bestfriend moonie just delivered a cute baby girl last night. Alhamdulillah. everything went well. 28 may. sama dengan besday ekin.XDD her name is nur irdina qistina hasrul nizam. and all my members called her baby I.Q. hehe. super kiut okayyy.

a big congratulations to you, dear!^.^

welcome to this world syg...:)

thats our 1st niece. but shes already got abang. anak Biela. hee~

danish wafeey yang makin ensem.^^

so after this, we will get busy with wawa's wed by the end of this year.

wah. seems theres a lot of things to do. a lot to think of before the big day. but then, those things are something that ive never thought of concerning into. obviously because i have no reason to. hehe.

makes me realize the different phase of life that we're at. *ponder*

but then again.

we're gonna be 25 this year. the age where people dont THINK of getting married. they GET married. well at least they put an effort to do so.

Ya Allah.. ringankanlah jodoh bagi kakak ku, kawan-kawan ku dan juga diriku.

as for me,

i dont ask much.

an imam for my family.

to guide me and my children til Jannah.

thats all. do take note okay.^^

note: ive this little habit lately. i tend to put a doa wallpaper like this as my desktop background. at least i can recite it every time i switch on my laptop. Ya Tuhan.. perkenankanlah doa hambaMu ini. aminnnn.:)

if i could have just one wish.

im not really myself for quite some time now.
efie who loves thinking too much.
feeling too much.

when its not probably the perfect time to do so.
when im suppose to pay attention to other important stuffs.
which definitely all the problems i need to deal of right now.

and the fact that im so good with hiding my feelings.
hide them.
dont let them show.
keep the feelings to myself.
theyre not to be revealed.
its a secret.

at least for now.

im having a serious thought to move on.
guess i can do it.
thanks to you.

...
...

its so hilarious. haha. bodoh sangat.:P

isnin!T.T

my weekend was so full with non-stop busy schedule. helping umi jaga kaunter. then kul 10 kena gi ofis kak biha. teman setel everything. tolong kak Jie pindah rumah baru. malam follow kak biha bawak orang gi dinner. that was on saturday.

hari ahad.
went to Persada. ada furniture fair.

Persada --> City Square --> Pasar Malam --> Angsana --> Larkin Sentral --> Bakar Batu

yang Bakar Batu tu kami attend customer gak. makan kat kedai ayam penyek.
sedapp wooo!

so tired. (-__-)" nak mandi malam-malam pon da malas. hewhewhew.

bestnya esok cuti sekolah. nak jadi budak sekolah balek boleh tak?

the sparkle wont lose its color

move on.

anak kampung!

hello friday!!^__^/

its annoying. entry emo. jangan baca kalau taknak stress.

being me, i can easily love someone just by reading her blog. although i never met her. but i can still fall with her by reading her story. the way she wrote about how she feels. the way she described about her love ones. be it her boyfriend yang dah selamat jadi husband or her sons yang da makin besar. her ups and down. and i can be the most loyal and great reader in the world.

but on the other hand, being me (again). i dont like people reading my stories. my disappointment, all the upset-emo-down entries. all the broken-hearted kinda thing all over again. oh dont get me wrong. i just want you to know that if you read this blog, you'll know me. im not the one who loves to tell other people how i feel. kak rai once asked me,

"why you dont want to give me your url add?"

"because i dont want other people to read my story. this is private blog."

"if private blog, asal tak tules dalam microsoft word and simpan sendiri."

*silent moment.

"oh. SEBAB if tules dalam word, theres no excitement in that. i cant post any videoclip that i like.XDD"

Okay!

the thing is.

if you read from my first entry. maybe you'll understand what im talking about.:b i can still tolerate if you are one of my bestfriends that really care about me. okay. put aside ekin.(because shes my best blog reader). heee. and dir (just found out that she loves to read my patheticraptastic life story. huhu)

because they are my bestfriends!

and bestfriend

they dont judge. remember?

they support each other.

other than those ppl, please dont leave here without a trace. still.. i need to know who you are.

...
...

because silent strangers can be so annoying.

thats all.

love that consumes you

its not just she makes him a better person.

she does. but he changes her, too.

challenges her.

surprises her.

he makes her question her life.

beliefs.

its either the best thing for her.

or the worst.

gossip gurls! XOXO!!~

kisah semalam.

i went to larkin right after i finished my work. i was fasting and tired. penat tu tak penat sangat la. sebab aku busy main fesbuk je for the whole day kat opis. astu yan sebok mesej suh datang sana. and i was like "kekpi tak taw jalan dari opis ke larkin." hewhewhew. tapi last skali aku pegi jugak la. maen hentam je. tanya-tanya orang. naseb baek sampai. thank God.:)

bukak posa ngan kak wa. dan yang laen teman kitorang makan. after solat maghrib, tolong kak wa kemas baju dia yang maha banyak. (dia tak kemas since habis belajar kat bandung ritu.-.-") oohhh. dan banyak jugak baju-baju yang super cantek yang disedekahkan kat kami. maka kami pon sangat gembira.^__^/

sesi bergossip! astu bila da malam cam malas nak drive balek rumah. umi bada pon tak bagi balek rumah malam-malam. oohhh. terpaksa la overnight sana. gi kedai baju depan rumah beli pakaian? eerkk. beli bra 5 hengget. kau mampu? hehe.

astu after kak biha+husband dia balek rumah mereka, kami pon mulakan sesi bergosip kembali. kak qish, kak wa, yan and me! me! me!~ actually nak discuss pasal game yang Yan perlu organize untuk tourist yang nak gi tioman arini. ehem. tourist la sangat. officem8 abg kamil je kott. astu aku ngan kak wa, since kami layan sume variety show korea esp. runningman ngan 2days1night, so banyakla idea game yang kitorang keluarkan. which banyak yang ditolak mentah-mentah oleh kak qish sebab da tak sempat beli prop. aieeee. esok nak bawak orang, malam ni baru nak prepare.(-__-)"

suddenly.. topic game bertukar jadi topic melodi. yeahhh. XOXO!~

tiba-tiba pukul 12 lebih umi bukak pintu bilik halau sume orang balek bilik masing-masing suh tido.+___+ lintang pukang sume orang keluar bilik. hee~ (padahal dari kul 10 lagi sume orang da ngadu ngantok. tak saba nak tido.:P)

absodamnlutely right!XDD

Untungla ada kazen cam Yan yang taw full detail salasilah+sejarah 7 keturunan kami.:b

...

...

 

 sis.. sy nak bawak orang gi korea je boleh? plissshhhhhh.(0__o) 

the sharp knife of a short life

all the symptoms were really happened.
i dont know how to tell them.
or should i not telling them?
im afraid of hospital.
im afraid of bloods.
im so scared of getting surgery.
God, help me.

like the sun, i will rise again

its not that i dont like jb. to be honest, i prefer k.l compared to jb. maybe because i dont have friends here. i dont know. but when kak huda suddenly text me asking did i already have a house and transport and offered to stay with her, i felt like.. theres still hope in fighting this. Tuhan masih bantu saya. because my boss is still out station, so she asked me to stay HQ. helping other staffs doing their reports. its not bad at all. for me myself, i really want to learn how to do the reports before going to the site. its an advantage to me. tade la bidang terjun sangat, teros kena campak masuk site kan.

tapiiii. disadvantage-nya, i need to find a house near my HQ for this period (which i dont know until when). pastu nanti kena pindah kat site plak. bape banyak kali pindah tah.(-__-)" aritu encik nizam offer stay puchong until dah confirm rumah kat desaru. and i said, its okay. lagi cepat saya datang sini, lagi cepat saya boleh adapt. but now.. i cant wait to go to desaru. the staffs here are all okay and nice. err. for your information, ada 4 staf ke kat sini. bos, kak yan, kak ina and me. which saya sangat la tak boleh kerja dalam ofis dengan staf yang siket. ngantok gla kotttttt. makes me miss Ardh even more.T.T dats the only reason why i really want to go to desaru.

okay. pros and cons.

i was a bit disappointed when they told me that they will send me to Desaru instead of Nusajaya. desaru is so faaaaaar from JB. and theres nothing there. astu dahla umi badar awal-awal lagi dah pesan bila wiken kena turun Larkin. tolong kak qish. ooooh. im so excited okayyy! buat passport cepat-cepat. then leh buat kerja part time dengan kak qish. harini Yan 'dipaksa' folo tourist yang gi Tioman. hehe. dah bos-bos besar sume da biasa gi oversea, bila kena bawak orang gi tempat dalam malaysia, sume orang refuse.:P

umi badar suh sy bawak orang gi USS nanti. everyweek schedule yang sama. kena bawak 2, 3 bas gi sana. i dont mind at all. sebab memang before ni sy da btaw diorang, if sy datang jb, sy nak keje dengan kak qish and kak biha. try handle tourists. astu boleh jadi manager bila diorang nak bukak branch kat melaka. (okay. yang ni berangan.:b)

oh! i just know about this. i guess sy lagi suka keje yang berjumpa dengan orang compare duduk dalam opis. i know. sy sangat memilih. (-__-)" but.. nak buat cane. i just want to find the beauty in my job.XDD

takpon.. this is the only way to heal the bleeding heart. who knows.. i can still find my own happiness here. if it is Gods will, it will happen right? InsyaAllah.

JB, plis be nice to me

safely arrived at JB last sunday. apiez, yan, lah and me. Lah yang bawak kete.XDD anta barang kat rumah sewa. then lepak rumah pak wahab. ketibaan kami disambut dengan meriah. LOLsssss. malam tu kak wa busy berlatih buat surgery pada seketul daging ayam. (habis hancur ayam tu dengan jahitan beliau).-.-" ngeh3.

sempat tanya kak wa pasal tangan sy yang da saket a few months ni. and its unknown disease. which kak wa suh datang sepital untuk scan nanti takot effect tulang. (da macam orang tua. osteoporosis ke hape?-.-")

that night they sent me back home. Lah+apiz naek satu kete. Me n yan folo dari belakang. suddenly there was a roadblock. budak-budak tu kena tahan sebab roadtax da mati. huhu! this is how JB welcome me.:b tapi sebab roadtax baru da ada. cuma belum tampal je lagi. astu polis tu plak jiran diorang kat Larkin. so budak-budak tu dapat lepas la. polis tu mintak no fon kami. lempang nak? gatal plak. astu baru perasan yang tayar kete Lah pancit. kami pon berenti di petronas yang berdekatan untuk tukar tayar.

belajar jalan nak gi opis. dan jalan balek. jalan jb are soooo hard.T.T sume one way.

huwaaaa. saya rindu Ardh!~ rindu karak.

aihhh~

Rabbi yassir wala tuadsir. rabbi atmim bilkhair.

i miss all my friends in puchong so bad.T.T

Karak site visit!

Hairie, ana, faz, kak umi and me went to Yana's site. dari puchong sampai karak dan sampai puchong balek, kami adalah gelak sepanjang masa.-.-" aihhh..

lets cekidaut!

hehehe. poyos kans? adas akus kesahs?:)
alahaiii. baju tak kemas lagi. esok pagi dah kena gi tengkera angkut budak2 tu gi JB. okay. gudnyte!

This kind of frustration?

This love affair between you and I
Do you think it’s worth the try
Hearts to be broken
I wonder if you do this often

You occupy my mind all day and night
I think of things to say to do
What we should do to keep this alive

You love sending chills up my spine
Depending on it most of the time
But for you I’m just an ordinary girl
But you bumped into
Hoping I’ll leave you
Within a month or two

Fears and frustration galore

I’ll never understand you

I’ll never be the girl you long for

I’ll never be the hand you want to hold

And if we go back in time

Would you still be the same person

I’d do it all over again
I’ll try to make you mine

We spent so much time
Looking into each others’ eyes
Looking into each others’ lies
Overlooking reality

I’m feeding on high expectations and happy endings

We were high above the ground or was it just me?

I’ll pull myself out of this confusion
I never meant to be an intrusion
But for you I’m nothing more but just a phase

...

How can they made such a beautiful song and made your heart threatened at the same time. (-__-)"

It is exactly how i feel right now. Terima kasih Yuna. sebab buat lagu untuk insan malang seperti aku.

I wish i didnt fall so hard for you

harini last day aku kat Ardh. my bos gave me permission to go back early. (dia bagi permission kul 10pg) which kul 11 aku da get ready nak balek.:P oh. suppose aku memang nak spend time ngan diorang. tapi tiba-tiba abg sedara aku call cakap kete dah abes repair dan kena amek teros sebab beliau dah nak kena gi klia.

actually i just got the confirmation yesterday. dahla before tu dah beriya nak pujuk bos nak stay kat puchong je. tapi bos suh gi JB jugak sebab peluang belajar lagi banyak. ohh. kecewa yang pertama. astu tiba-tiba dia cakap dah konfem kena report keje isnin depan.(-__-)" ohhhh. lagi stress neh. teros bad mood 1 hari.:P tak kaco sape-sape buat keje pon sebab  da tade mood. kul 11, ana ajak folo dia g PJ. dengan riangnya, teros ikot tanpa banyak bicara. gi makan ayam penyek la. jalan-jalan tengok rumah hantu. ngeh3. mentang2 bos tade kat opis.

astu pagi tadi after dapat amanat-amanat terakhir dari bos, aku pon gi opis seblah. borak lama gla dengan kak ekin. then baru salam-salam dengan opism8. aihhh~ berat hati gla kot. T.T dari laswik lagi aku dah rasa berat ati.-.-" huk.

astu bila tengok Faz nanges, lagi la sedih. tapi.. aku kan manusia-ego-tak-nanges-depan kawan-kawan. i was like "eehhhhh. asal nanges? faz dah nak period eh?" hee~ *sebab aku selalu sensitif time nak period je. hormon tak stabil. ekekeke. Arie, k.umi dengan ana plak sebok suh pujuk bos cakap nak keje kat Ardh teros. aihhh diorang ni. (-__-)" nak buat cane. bos tak sudi terima sy. hewhewhew.

it was only two weeks. and they were so nice to me. Allah gave me a chance to meet so many wonderful people. and i was so touched when k.syahid said "baru 2 minggu, diorang dah sayang ifi. teruskan jadi camni kat tempat baru k." tu belom EO yang super sporting kat karak tu. ambooiii. beriya pujuk suh stay a few days lagi kat sana. tapi aritu aku bawak baju just untuk 1 malam je. maka, agak terkilan kat situ. sebab i tot nexwik kalau tak gi jb, aku nak stay lama sket kat karak. boleh lepak site amin ngan fahmi lama sket. sebab dah expert site yana. seap dah kenal sume general workers dia okay. haha.

despite all these fears and frustration thingy, i was a bit relieved after got a text from kak she.

sis! sy takot nak gi JB. ifi takdak sapa-sapa kat sana. T.T

jangan risau. kak she kan ada.^__^/

okay! dats enough for me. at least ada orang yang take care kat sy. hehe. Alhamdulillah.

to all my friends at Ardh. (yana, kak umi, faz, kak ekin, tasya, hairie, ana, anisa, kak a, kak syahid, fahmi, aizat, amin, arie, kak iza, hafiz, kak anis)

thanx for all your supports, kindness and love that you gave me. really appreciate it.:)

i love you! take care!!~ til we me meet again. InsyaAllah..

Last day!

ohhhh. sedih! T.T

im just saying

sometimes, even if you want to take an easy step in your life, it takes courage too. the bigger step that you made, the bigger mistake that you might have.

blessing.. the thing with "you just have to finish your master. get a good job. only then they will hear what you wanna say. who you wanna be with. and you can make your own decision."

but still.. it didnt work out that way. when they've made up their mind, no one can change it. and i know. they've got power. who are you to tell them to listen to you? to know how you feel. to understand everything about you?

so, its not about you and him anymore. it never was. in fact, its always about them.

and sometimes, even if you know its a mistake, you still want to do it anyway. its in human nature. if its for me, i tend to follow my own instinct. whether its right or not. it goes this way. even if you know its a mistake. there are certain things in life where you know its a mistake but you dont really know its a mistake. because the only way to really know its a mistake is to make the mistake, and look back and say "yep. that was a mistake."

so, the bigger mistake would be not to make the mistake, because then you go your whole life not really knowing if something is a mistake or not.

i feel like its really unfair. i have no right to decide for my own happiness. i cant fight for my future.

in the end... even if i try really hard, i would still lost anyway. because.. i cannot fight alone. no one will be there for me. no one.

im just saying. i dont blame you tho. i never was. its nobody's fault. its a mistake that i would rather do it. because i still have a little faith in me.

there was a time when i still havent finish my master, people asked "do you have a boyfriend?" without further adieu, i would answered "no. im still single. tolong carikan someone untuk saya plishhhhh.." but then, when ive got a job. so manyyyyy ppl asked "are you single?" some of them terus tengok jari to see whether theres a ring attach to it or not. i was so speechless. and after a few secs, i replied "theres a guy.. but.. i dont even know samada kami betul-betul ada jodoh ke tak. banyak sangat dugaan yang datang."

i dont know why i answered like that.

...
...

"hey sis.. thanx for your concern. im just a girl. and my heart is so fragile."

i really mean it when i said i can see your bad sides. but i can still tolerate and understand it. because i know you beyond that. that explains a lot why theres always a part of me that still cannot let you go no matter how hard i tried. because i never wanted to...

tomorrow.. 14th May 2012. its been a year i knew you. watching fast 5 at the curve. me and my noob thingy. tak pernah makan meatball. maka agak jakun ketika itu. and 3 days later, we went to bukit tinggi. i miss those moments so much.

but its just a mistake that i would never regret did it in the first place. it seems like a mistake will always be a mistake no matter how beautiful or painful that mistake was.

happy anniversary.

so, dance your final dance!

today is the first time i visit the site. learned many things from EO over there. yana. she is so nice. amek master eia kat upm. eh. lupa nak tanya dia kenal botaq ke tak. (-__-)" sorry Taq. i always forgot about you.:P since shes almost in the same situation with me. fresh grad, master eia which was only learned theory for about one and a half year. so she told me all the difficulties that she had to go through time awal-awal kerja dulu. i mean, budak yang belajar teori tiba-tiba nak masuk site, kena design macam-macam benda and handle all those machines. siapa tak cuak kan. for the 1st three months tu memang nanges laaaaa.

actually.. there was a time when i went back to melaka with kak rai. my senior kat sharodz dulu. shes an engineer. memang kena duduk kat site la. when i was in her car, aku nampak topi putih yang orang pakai time kat site tu. yang selalunya ada tunjuk dalam lagu-lagu patriotik malaysia. cam dalam lagu ini. "buruh, nelayan dan juga petani, gaya hidup kini dah berubah.."

and then, i was like "your job is sooooo cool sis!"

padahal its just a hat. i mean, even mamat bangla yang kerja panjat bangunan pon pakai topi tu kan (which at that time i tot yellow hat was much more cooler than white hat sebab masih noob dan tak taw topi kuning untuk general worker.:P). tapii. maybe because shes a girl. so salute tu lebih sket la. ngeh3.

i went to the site. watching all the workers doing their works. attended meeting dengan orang jepon. tengok orang-orang hebat argue. err. diorang lebih kepada bertengkar actually. sebab mat saleh tu takmo mengalah. astu project manager pon degil jugak.:b but for me, its a great exposure. thanx to my temporary boss. encik nizam yang sangat baik hati. told you.. there are so many good people in this world.^.^ kan best kalau boleh teros kerja dengan beliau. huuu~

after balek dari karak. boss bagi balek rumah teros. because i still have to go there tomorrow. pinjam boot+topi kak anis. naseb baek kaki beliau kecik jugak.XDD oh! saya tak sesat dah arini. alhamdulillah.:) ingatkan nak pi lawat Adi. tapi badan letih gla kot. after mandi teros pengsan. nak bangun makan pon da tak larat. tu kau baru pegi site 3 jam je kot. (-___-)" silalah minum tongkat ali banyak-banyak pasni fie.

oh! talking about the hat. ive got a message from my mother yesterday. bunyinya adalah begini:

"mama lupa nak suruh bawak topi koboy yang ada kat rumah. panas macam mana pon ep kena pinjam topi sape-sape. kalau tak pon, gi beli topi jenis cina tanam sayur sebab KULIT MUKA KENA JAGA KALAU TAK IA BERJERAGAT. (*sumpah yang ni sume capslock okay) k bye."

amboiiii. my mom. (-___-)" apa susah sangat.

New york skin solution kan ada.^___^/

dont be afraid of being hurt.

just believe in yourself.

and everything will be just fine.

InsyaAllah...

and the story began...

i was so nervous yesterday. dan sebab aku period, maka secara semulajadinya aku takleh la nak baca al-quran untuk tenangkan hati. after anta along kat lrt stesen, aca nak potong rambut. kitorang pi carik kedai kat sk. sebab tu je yang paleng dekat dengan putarajaya. i was sooooo depressed. depress pasal apa tah. last2 sebab aca lama sangat potong rambut which aku tak paham asal orang keling tu buat keje dengan sangat teliti padahal rambut dia siket je kottt. then i sat in my car. alone. fikir macam-macam. WORRY is the exact word. i called someone. wishing that it would made me feel better. unfortunately, it didnt. (-__-)" i cried.

and then aca ajar macam-macam jalan. which i was soooo blur. sebab sume jalan nampak sama. lol. tipikal efie. maafkan beta. *btw. jalan memang la sume sama. mana ada jalan yang tiba-tiba ada kaler hijau.  it made me sooo worried. so many bad things yang ada dalam kepala. esok kalau salah jalan macam mana? takkan nak call aca. mesti dia tido. kalau dia tak jawab fon cane? kalau tiba-tiba dah terlepas simpang cane? kalau tak jumpa opis cane?

but the real question is...

...

can i survive tomorrow?

i cried really hard last night. menunjukkan betapa tak confidentnya aku.T.T dannnn. secara logik dan tipikal efie yang anda semua kenal, bila dia stress dan sangat risau camtu, macam mana pon mesti dia layan variety show lepas tu. tengok family outing, gelak-gelak astu teros jadi okay. LOL. (sangatla tak bertamadun budak sorang ni)

so.. today..

i went to my office. err. my training place.:b tak sampai setengah jam pon dari rumah aca. kau boleh je sebenarnya. but you always choose not to believe in yourself. (my most annoying+bothersome trait that live within me.:P)

tapi bila balek keje, sesat jugak la. bila dah terlepas exit shortcut nak g presint 11 tu, maka aku dengan tenangnya round 1 putrajaya di suatu petang yang indah.(0__o)"

...

bos company tu sangat baek. kan bagus kalau saya leh stay kat sini je. tapi projek yang diorang handle agak tough. 1 projek kena ada sampai 4 E.O means project tu memang besar la. dari pahang-selangor. dan saya tak sabar nak gi jb. (even i know my boss over there is a woman). agak scary di situ. mintak-mintak la beliau dah kahwin dan emotion dia stabil. amin..:) dan project kat jb diorang buat padang golf. oh! tak payah susah-susah nak panjat bangunan. tapiii. actually.. tade keje yang senang pon dalam dunia ni. just bear with it. but at least.. to find something that can relate to what you've been studied all this while is really a bless!

Alhamdulillah...

Sentiasa bersabar, berusaha dan bertawakal kepada Allah. kerana.. Allah tahu tentang dirimu lebih daripada engkau sendiri. Maka Allah telah menetapkan untukmu LEBIH BAIK daripada apa yang engkau kehendaki.

btw. creating a new facebook account made me really chooooossy to add people as my friend. wall saye sangat meriah sekarang. i told you Adi! my comeback will be really great. ala-ala comeback BigBang aritu. hihi. have a good night peeps. love you!

someone who will..

this might be the last entry i wrote before i move on to the next phase of my life. (amboii. ayat macam orang dah nak kawen.XDD

i already texted aca. told her that i will pick her up at 10 o'clock tomorrow. which even me myself don't know if i can wake up that early tomorrow morning.(-__-)" barang-barang tak habis kemas lagi. letih gla kottt. dah 2 hari tak duduk rumah. asek keluar je. (oh. plus lepak dengan fara aritu jadi 3 hari la.:b)

konon-konon nak tengok ulangan running man sebab terlepas tengok. tapiiii. gla mengantok. last sekali tak tengok pon. T__T

emm. sebenarnya saya sangat tak tenang sekarang. and i hate this uncertain feelings. something that i cant tell anybody. something that i can only confess in my own blog. maybe because its about my future. maybe because im too nervous. i dont know.

i need someone to talk to. someone that will always be there for me when i need them the most.

independent? cliche sangat.

one thing yang buat saye sangatttt tak sabar nak pergi jb adalah keranaaaa...

saya sangatttt tak sabar nak jumpa kak she.XDD

other than that,
sume adalah menda negatif.
sebagai contoh..

1. jb sangat jauh dengan melaka.T.T
2. saye tade kawan kat sana.T.T (which before this ada fara. tapi sekarang beliau da malas nak balek sana)
3. kalau ada sedara pon, family cik wahab jela.
4. kena survive sorang-sorang.

which everybody knows that im a scaredy cat.(-___-)"

All praises to Allah

alhamdulillah. everything went well yesterday. except for the fact that i stayed up really late on the night before but it turned out, the interviewer didnt asked me much. jangan kata tanya sume pasal construction, tanya pasal eia pon tak. hehe. Tuhan tolong saya.:) alhamdulillah.

sempat jumpa Dr. talib sat. tapi beliau tengah busy ber-discuss. dan saye pon just nak pass tesis+cd je. dia yang terkejut tengok saye datang lawat tiba-tiba.:P

eh. orang Alai. ni orang kampung saya ni. dekat dengan Kandang. (sambil kenalkan kat lecturer yang laen). awak dah keje?

saya baru lepas interview dr. Dr! sorry. saya tak bawak buah tangan. nanti saya datang lawat Dr. lagi. saya janji. hehe.

*aieeeee. useless student.(-___-)"

and then sampai-sampai melaka balek teros gi tengkera. nak amek makngah ngan pakngah. wow. my dear cuzzie masak rendang ayam. woot woottt! boleh kawen dahlaaaaaa.XDD

bila petang, lawat pakcik kat taman kesidang. beliau dah beransur sihat. alhamdulillah..~

...

...

oh. saya tak anta lagi surat berenti keje. uwaaa! tak suka gi situ lagiiiiii. nak pos je boleh tak?

wish me luck. plis.

i am super nervous right now.
astu konon-konon nak kurangkan nervous, i played keyboard for a while.
seap da tak ingat cane nak main lagu fiction.(-___-)"
lama dah tak prektis. alahaiii~

oh!
tomorrow!
saye ponteng keja.^^ makngah da sampai melaka. follow abg Yie balek melaka.
rindu gila kottt kat si kecik tu! batriesya.:)
sebab bila wiken, everytime abg yie nak datang rumah, mesti time tu kitorang ada hal.
nak jumpa eisya pon tak boleh.+__+
nak letak gambar beliau. tapi cam sume gambar disimpan dalam fesbuk. T____T

okay bai.
doakan saya berjaya esok.
cuak gla sebab company tu memang environmental consultant.
which means diorang super expert pasal env.
tapela.
Yakin bolehhhhh!

Ya Allah..

bukakan lah pintu rezeki bagiku dan rakan-rakanku yang lain.

amin..

oh.
btw.. saye beli kasut baru!
sangat excited okayyyy.XDD
perasaan cam budak sekolah rendah yang baru dapat kasut sekolah baru.
astu dia asek try pakai selagi belum bukak sekolah.:P
same with me.-.-"

emm.. nak suh boifren belikan, tade boifren plak.+__+
tepakse beli sendiri. aieeee. borrriing.

dont hate me coz im beautiful. ^__^/