Things to ponder.

1. Some guys are so complicated.
2. They will keep a distance once they knew their 'girl friends' have someone.
3. I mean, cant you just befriend with girls without falling for her or keep wanting to know their status?
4. Wheres your sincerity in friendship?
5. Ke sume laki camtu? when he said he wanted to befriend with you, he meant that he wanted to have you as his girlfriend or wife?
6. but. i dont really blame them tho. i guess.:b
7. you dont want to get married with me. trust me!:)

...


hehe. nak period la ni. writing emo entry like this. sorry peeps.

9. Went out with engineer was quite challenging. to make it worse, when you went to the mall that he built. sila la kau pon teros tahu setiap inci bangunan dan selok belok mall tu.(-__-)"

10. eh! sy balek melaka harini!!~:) mari kita persetankan sume keje ni. okay bai.

belajar cara nak buat. kalau cik qaliz ada kan besh!^^

hey babe.. rindu laa!

time heals the wound

Here I am. Alone in my room. My dear cuzzy hasnt come back yet. Malam ni kami tak masak. Feels like I wanna eat megi. Cam da lama tak makan megi. My housemates were soooo talented in cooking. Which is the best thing to live in here.^^ haha. While me and Adah would always be the one tolong-potong-potong-bawang je.:D

My house is in Usj. Near summit. Upon reaching from work, we would bergotong-royong masak. There are 10 people in this house. Oh! It’s a penthouse by the way. Even makan beramai-ramai, I always feel like asal sket sangat orang dalam rumah ni? Seploh orang still rasa sket. I don’t even understand myself. Huhu. Time wiken paleng rasa la. Bila sume orang balek, mesti sangat terasa. (-__-)” tak dapat bergado ngan Huda. Banyak cakap budak kecik sorang tu.

After came back home, watching all my housemates busy cooking in the kitchen. And I didn’t saw my cuzzie.

Me: Makdeq dop balek lagi?

Huda: Balek-balek je teros tanya makdeq dia. Rindu sangat la tu ke sepupu dio.

See! Balek keje teros carik gado dengan aku.:p

They are makdeq’s colleague in Mydin. So diorang memang dah rapat la time keje. Most of them are from Terengganu+Kelantan. Aku pon secara tidak langsung teros terer gilos kecek kelate.:b

Okay. enough about my housemates.

Working in Subang was quite okay. As for now la kan. Belum pernah nanges lagi.:b This Friday, I will have operation site meeting. Cuak neh. (-__-)” the staffs are okay. Kak balqis yang hari-hari marah aku.+__+ dia asek bebel suruh aku jadi kasar. “kalau awak lembut sangat, nanti diorang tak dengar cakap.” Aihh. Aku plak seteres sebab asek kena bebel. Other engineers are so kind. Tak kedekut ilmu. I guess its normal. The higher education that you get, the humble you will be. (falsafah cipta sendiri) hihi. Emm. Working in site was quite tough. Hujan lebat pon still turun site. First time bawak kembara kat site, mulut aku sangat bising. Huwa! Cuak gla kot. Bila da biasa, asek aku je yang berebut dengan kak balqis nak bawak kete. Because there are only 4 kembara provided for all engineers+officer. Minus 2 kembara manual, tinggal 2 la. Yang 2 kete tu la kena berebut dengan orang laen.

Bila hujan, aku jadi orang paleng risau. Laswik hujan lebat kat subang. On the way balek ternampak silt fence da runtuh separuh kat highway. Sampai mimpi-mimpi sebab risau pasal silt fence aku. Aihh.. project LRT tu sangat susah. (-__-)” ni baru lrt. Aritu beriya nak gi project mrt. Haru hidup aku kalau trc suh handle mrt kat sungai buloh tu.0__o

Hazwan! Oh. Hes my friend. He helped me a lot when I started to work here. Dia yang ajar jalan dari usj-subang. Bertahan dengan perangai aku. Hihi. Thanks sooo much! Terharu la.:’) aku tade la manja sangat kan. I still can be an independent woman here. Haha. Tipu sangat la kan.:b

Hidup ini banyak turun naik. And as you go along the way, you might encounter so many interesting things in your life. No matter how good or bad that thing was, always believe in this. everything happened for a reason. Allah would never give you something you cant handle.

Soal jodoh, I will ask Him. Whats your opinion? Do You think Im ready to have my own family right now? Only You know if hes really the one for me. Please give me Your guidance. Thanks ya Allah.

Oh. Talking about jodoh, i dont really mind about my future husband. yang pasti qaliz pasti jadi bridesmaid ai. Hahaha.

The end.

the good news!

my dear cousin's house is in the same apartment with aisyah's.

apart from that, its also in the same block but in a different level.

oh. jodoh tu sangat indah kan.^^

the most beautiful!:)

...

i keep promoting other people's niece and nephew.:b

but this little girl is

soooooo adorable.
 0__o

tak saba nak jumpa!

I'll rise and carry on

Jan-Feb: worked as litigation clerk at Bukit Katil. I was really enjoyed working there. Met Fira and Kak Ina.^^ we can even gossiping about Hanis Zalikha. Makan bakso kat kedai bawah dan shopping kat Jusco. But unfortunately, it was only a temporary replacement for 2 months. Once kak ira finished her maternity leave, I had to stop working there.

At that time, I was quite busy with my thesis. Had to travel from Bangi-Melaka.

…

I finished my master. Alhamdulillah. And return to be unemployment. :p my mom asked to go out looking for a job. Okay fine.

April: Worked as account clerk at lawyer firm at Lorong Hang Jebat, Melaka. Honestly, it was a mentally torture over there. Haha. I was sooo slow at handling things regarding money cash flow. (-_-)” I worked for 2 weeks only. Hihi. And ive got a phone call from Ardh’s.

Oh. Finally. Thank God. You save my life.:)

May: Be a trainee at Ardh Co. in Puchong. En. Nizam just want to train me before asked me to work at his friend’s company in JB. Encik Nizam yang sangat baik, thanks for all the kindness, guidance and lessons. May Allah bless you.^^ amin. Training for 2 weeks at Ardh. Went to Karak for site visit. Met so many lovely friends.

May-June: Worked in JB. The staff, kak ina and kak yan. They were so nice to me. despite our boss yang macam biskut. Passing all the works to us.T.T it made me miss Ardh even more. Oh. Kan bagus kalau bos ni pon macam encik nizam.-.-” eh. You wont meet wrong people in your life efie. Remember that!

Setelah letih seteres dengan bos (padahal baru a few weeks kot?), then ive got a phone call from TRC.

June 2012.

Worked in TRC. Alhamdulillah. Ada rezeki kerja kat KL. Ada rezeki keje dalam construction co. hehe.

I was soo nervous. Tomorrow will be my first day. T.T

Eh. Dah tukar keje banyak kali pon nervous lagi?

Haha. Takpayah nak bagi komen yang membencikan sangat la.+__+ dulu co kecik. Ni pressure gla kot.

…

Starting July, I will start to work fulltime at Kelana Jaya site. It’s LRT project. I went there last week for site inspection. Pekerja kat side office were soooo friendly. Sebab keje site kot. You don’t have to be firm and skema like those who works in HQ. tapiii. Kalau keje kat HQ, leh lunch free hari-hari. :b hehe.

Ya Tuhan, please give me your guidance for me to walk smoothly in my life. Thanks for everything you gave me. I will be a good girl after this.^^ Amin…

…

If tak sempat dapat rumah company kat area Ara Damansara within this week, I might stay at my cousin’s house in USJ. Oh. Dah lama cakap kat Adah nak nyebok dok ngan dia.XDD hihi.

And heres photo of my friend's super duper cute niece!

Aisya sangatttt kiuttt! oh pengsan.+__+ nak anak macam ni jugak!

izzah!

you look like izzah.

ooiii. izzah tu cantek gla kottt. (aih. syafinas ni memang tak reti cakap dengan sopan ea?)

sirius. nak2 bila u pakai tudung camtu. nampak decent.

ow. betul ke? patut la staff TRC asek usha i je kat opis. mesti diorang pon konpius. ingat i nurul izzah. :p

cantiknya!^^
*puji orang. nanti terpantul balek. he he.

its something that i'd accept for sure

when someone left you with broken hearted or being dumped,
1 person will come to steal your heart away
2 persons will wait their turns to take away your heart
3 persons will hope that they are the best lover for you
and 4 persons will pray to give the chance to be the best
partner for you

so don't be sad. coz there will be someone better for you..


...

easy to say than do la kan.

if i can redha, why am i still sad?

...

lovely thoughts :)

Makdeq: epie! dah dapat keje kat KL ke? dok la dengan Adah k. (shes my dear cuzzie)

Faz: fi, rumah kitorang ada kosong. jom la dok sini. site ifi kat subang kan? dekat je dengan puchong. (shes my friend at Ardh. dia yang nanges ritu. ekekeke)

Aini: apeng! dah konfem ke dok site mana? harap-harap ko dapat kat Subang. teman la aku. aku dok kelana jaya sorang-sorang.T.T (shes my member. dak2 skola je panggil sy apeng.-.-")

...

Thanx luv!^^

i am so grateful and happy for your offer.:')

oh. Cpah ada share ni kat fb ritu.

 

Sentiasa mahukan untuk orang lain lebih dari apa yang kita mahu untuk diri kita.
Sentiasa doakan orang lain tanpa mereka tahu dan lihat bagaimana hidup kita berubah dan kita menjadi bahagia dan membahagiakan.

InsyaAllah.

the tide is high but im holding on

we went to Desaru yesterday.

finally..

after few times postpone.

you know what?

the place..

its really calming.

and the blessed feelings

subhanAllah.

ombak dan pantai never fail to give me those feelings.

somehow..

it makes me wonder..

..

..

am i really the descendant of the great Poseidon?

^.^/

still in love

im so in love with this song.

and it was my first time to agree that Yonghwa has a beautiful voice.

but i still think if Hongki yang nyanyi lagu ni mesti lagi besh!^.^

its a great band!

pls produce more great songs in the future okeh!

 

tu la.

dulu anti sangat dengan yonghwa.

tengok sekarang!

kau yang sebok carik lagu CN Blue.

*giggles

(people change. so do i. maafkan beta)

penyejuk hati. penenang jiwa! kids!!!!~

Rania qaisara. with her mummy-Uty.^^

we both look sooo happy, aint we?XD

tunggu mummy-Uty kerja kat sungai buloh okay.:)

aieee.

banyak nau anak buah.

penat kot nak jaga mak enon sorang ni.

poning kepalo den.:b

...

i just came back from interview last saturday.

that explained why i wore that attire to my cousin's wed. (-__-)"

tak sempat balek rumah tukar baju.

Terima kasih Tuhan :')

Monday, 11 June 2012

i woke up so early today. kul 7.30 dah kuar rumah gi rumah bos. arrived there at 8am. call and text sume tapi tak berjawab. okay fine. kul 11 lebih, dia cakap cancel site visit harini. dia suh balek opis. aku da tunggu dari kul 8 kot. (-__-)"

before gi opis, singgah breakfast jap. received a phone call from TRC. i was mentally prepared that she would say something like this "sorry nurul syafinas. you didnt get the job. you can try again next time" (amboii. macam audition Mentor)

soooo. sepanjang perbualan tu aku sangattttt la blur. sumpah. even when she asked me "awak boleh tak datang lapor diri next week. 18 Jun?"

and i replied "eh. saya dapat ke kerja tu?"

hee.. syukur Alhamdulillah.:')

i am sooo glad.

i knew it! i know you can do it!

How did you know? coz.. i hv no confidence at all after the interview. sume orang yang datang interview hebat-hebat kot. (-__-)" it seems like Allah sentiasa bantu saya.:')

hee~ Thanx for believing in me.^^
terharu lagik.

okay bai.

I know you will always be there for me. All praises to Allah.

...

going through all the entries before this and all my nervous+do'a fb status made me realize,
i really did it.
Alhamdulillah. :')

just a little bit more

i made so many silly mistakes today.
whats wrong with me?

(-__-)"

she loves you when you forget to love yourself

I was so depressed today. I don’t know because of what. Maybe im too worried. Don’t put your hope too high efie. You might end up with frustration and broken hearted. Ive got a phone call for interview in KL this Friday. It’s a big company. It made me scared and has no confidence. Why is that? Maybe Im just hoping that theres someone can give me some strength in time like this.

Whenever I feel uncertain like this, I would always calm myself with recite ayat-ayat suci Al-Quran. But today.. because im still ma’zurah, I cant do that. (-__-)” it makes me feel so helpless.T.T 

I don’t know to whom I should turn to. Someone who can make me feel better.

I called my girlfriend yang jauh di Sarawak sana. Talking rubbish. Gossiping. Laughing. Layan perangai dia yang menjengkelkan dan menyakitkan hati tu teros buat mood sy elok. Hehe.

I love you dear!

So much!^__^/

Thanx for always be there for me.

Thanks for loving me.

Thanks because you never fail to make me smile again.:)

“Asal down je baru nak carik aku.”

“Hello. At least aku carik jugak ko taw tak. Dari ko tu. Asek busy dengan kucing je.”

“Apa plak. Bila aku nak borak dengan ko, ko kena keje la. Ada kat site la.”

…

Kejap je baek. Dah gaduh balek budak 2 orang ni. Hantuk kepala kang!

:p

Alhamdulillah.

Terima kasih Tuhan. Sebab bagi sy peluang jumpa sahabat sebaik dia.

the best! 

Light will guide you to him

Dear blog,

Within a month after ive got a job, there were 3 guys told me that they like me. Is it my fault? Its a matter of fact that I am NOT a playgirl in this story. I mean, im not pretty. Im not smart. Im not funny. I am far far faaaarrr away from having a sudden-of-an-unexpected-charm-and-attraction like this.:p (huh. Panjangnya diskripsi. lol.)

Rejection is really not my thing. I am too soft heartened to reject a good guy. Okay. Yang ni tipu.  They are from my university and Ardh’s staff. Aieee. How can I face you bila sy gi camping nanti?(-__-)”

Emm. These things are obviously not include in my ‘move-on plan’.

Hey guys…

Which one of you is my soulmate?

:p

Oh. Talking about guys, there was a guy called me last Saturday. Told me that hes getting married in Sunday. And I was like, “Ko nak kawen esok, ko baru nak jemput aku harini? Aku kat JB kotttt.”

To be exact, im not really his friend btw. He said that he likes me a few months before his engagement day. I tot perempuan je yang ada sindrom dilema takot nak kawen. hewhewhew.

Dear guys.. please don’t make me underestimate your species okay. Please be a responsible man and have your own stand.

Since then, I didn’t contact him anymore. Saya tak kawan dengan orang yang tak setia. (okay. Call me racist.:p) Hehe. Tu kisah lama. Sila buang yang keruh, amek yang jernih. Siapa tak pernah buat silap kan.

 

Dear friend, I hope you will be happyyyyyy with your wife. Have a cute-good-soleh and solehah kids. BarakAllah.:)

...

Dahla fie. Asek membebel je. PMS agaknya budak ni. I guess its normal. Bila pms, kau bukannya akan emo dengan semua lelaki. Secara otomatik kau akan emo dengan sekalian alam. That’s why I am being like this.+__+ okay. I should stop talking right?-.-”

Have a great day peeps!^__^/ Take care.

Wiken Quick Hapdet

1. Went dinner and watched MIB3 with my cousin on Friday night. Kena bebel jugak la. “dah tinggal sorang-sorang baru tahu nak carik abang.” (ala. Tak sengaja la-.-")

2. Dia cakap sy sekeping dan order makanan yang super banyak.0__o tapi tak habis pon kerang rebus dengan sotong celup tepung tu. Tepakse bungkus. Huuuu~

3. Abg kamil bebel jugak sebab dok sorang. Dia suh dok larkin. And I said, tak best susahkan sedara. And he replied with “sedara memang untuk disusahkan laaaa!” hehe. I guess sume orang yang bergelar Along memang suka bebel.:b cant you just accept and support your sis’s decision?:P

4. My family came to visit me on Saturday!^__^ yeayyy! Feeling cam dok ostel yang family datang lawat ramai-ramai.:) hehe.

5. Kami shopping (kat Mydin depan apartment ni je ha). Beli periuk nasi dan barang-barang masak yang lain.

6. My friend asked to go out with him on Saturday night. But I didn’t feel like going out. Maka saya tepakse tolak pelawaan beliau.

7. Okay. Now.. my life is about to be complete. Tayah risau tade makanan dalam rumah lagi. Tayah risau tak taw katne nak carik kedai makan lagi. ^^ sy dah boleh berjimat. Double yeay!

8. My dear cuzzie, Yan nak turun JB teman saya disweek. I luv u bebeh.:D

9. Went dinner at kedai ayam penyet kat Taman U on Sunday with my friend.:) Tipikal efie. Pantang dengar pasal ayam penyet. If you want to go out with me, offer je ayam penyek konfem sy setuju. Ekekeke.

10.   Saya senggugut harini.T.T okay. Bai.

and no one likes to be alone

i told my aunt that i wanna go back to my house. but i didnt meant to lie to her. the thing about lying is... you just want to protect them from knowing the truth. and getting worried about you. so, its a good thing right? hehe. (ajaran siapa kau pakai ni fie?:p) so yesterday i had to tell her that ive got a company in my house. but the truth is, theres no one there. kak huda+kak ekin were already went back to their hometown since it was still a school holiday.

ITS JUST... i dont like being burden to anybody. thats the reason why i decide to live alone for these 2 weeks. i guess its not that scary since im already 25. theres nothing to be afraid of. im just worried about my car. if theres something wrong (Nauzubillah), i dont know who should i call. this is why i dont like being away from my family and friends. (-__-)" oh maro. aku doa kau kena posting kat jb. haha. aminnn.XDD

i left my aunt's house after Maghrib. sesat la jugak on the way back from Larkin to Bandar Uda. because i always used shortcut every time i went to her house. but last night, i had to use the other way sebab jalan short cut tu takleh jalan waktu malam. it was tooo creepyyyy+scary.

arrived at my apartment. and my dad called. huuu. daddy's instinct. my dad selalu camtu. bila anak dia cam susah, mesti dia call. and he was so surprised when i told him that i went back to my apartment. i dont like live in someone else's house. it feels so awkward.T.T no matter how good and nice treatment that they gave to you, i still felt like an outsider. kalau datang time wiken je boleh la.^^ besides i was close with kak wa. shes still had on-call everyday. houseman memang camtu. cant do anything about that. so i felt so alone. okay. apart from that, i cant wear shorts and be 'im-sexy-and-i-know-it' if i stay there. hehe. thats a really valid reason i can come out with.:p

and upon reaching my apartment. i looked at kak huda's totally-messy-room. i was like..

HomeSweetHomeeeee!!!~

biarla tade bibik pon. i really feel at ease. Alhamdulillah. baca yasin. dan sekarang kita boleh bergembira sorang-sorang.:)

The end!

Note: Maka, aktiviti harini selepas kerja adalah mengemas rumah. dengan semangatnya beli plastik sampah tadi.XDD dont worry Umi. i will still go and help kak biha this weekend. hehe.^.^

..

..

and oh! He said...

"you became more and more independent now. kalau tak dulu manja gla kott."

"haha!!~ (is that a compliment?) aah kan. saya pon tak sangka.XDD"

it doesnt need to be perfect

i was fully booked in June. ive a really compact schedule during my weekend. minggu ni bolehla stay Rajawali Bintang. nexweek ill be back to Melaka to attend my cousin's wed. and luckily his wed will be at Restaurant. so it wont give me too many hard works during the big day isnt it?^^ *ujar si efie yang rajen.

okay. on 15-17 june, ill have a camping trip in Taman Negara Pahang. im not even sure about the place. still need a confirmation. its Ardh's trip! tapiiii sy yang bukan staff Ardh ni yang sebok nak join. tak malu kan? ngeh3. oh. please ignore the fact that i hate sweating. but how can i easily agreed to join them? oohh. i miss them so much.^.^ (dengan harapan tolongla jangan paksa saya jungle trekking tempat yang jauhhhhhh. pleaseee..):b

i just received this!

its a wed invitation card. my dear esther gave it to me.

i love the design and concept. and that derpina is soooo cool. haha. i am actually considering to attend after ive got the card. tapi kat KL kott. its one whole different case if i also live in KL. huhuhuhu.

so, congrats on ur wed dear. wish you a great happiness. and live happily ever after with your cute husband. (okay sumpah tunang dia tu kiut!XDD)

different stage of life

my bestfriend moonie just delivered a cute baby girl last night. Alhamdulillah. everything went well. 28 may. sama dengan besday ekin.XDD her name is nur irdina qistina hasrul nizam. and all my members called her baby I.Q. hehe. super kiut okayyy.

a big congratulations to you, dear!^.^

welcome to this world syg...:)

thats our 1st niece. but shes already got abang. anak Biela. hee~

danish wafeey yang makin ensem.^^

so after this, we will get busy with wawa's wed by the end of this year.

wah. seems theres a lot of things to do. a lot to think of before the big day. but then, those things are something that ive never thought of concerning into. obviously because i have no reason to. hehe.

makes me realize the different phase of life that we're at. *ponder*

but then again.

we're gonna be 25 this year. the age where people dont THINK of getting married. they GET married. well at least they put an effort to do so.

Ya Allah.. ringankanlah jodoh bagi kakak ku, kawan-kawan ku dan juga diriku.

as for me,

i dont ask much.

an imam for my family.

to guide me and my children til Jannah.

thats all. do take note okay.^^

note: ive this little habit lately. i tend to put a doa wallpaper like this as my desktop background. at least i can recite it every time i switch on my laptop. Ya Tuhan.. perkenankanlah doa hambaMu ini. aminnnn.:)

if i could have just one wish.

im not really myself for quite some time now.
efie who loves thinking too much.
feeling too much.

when its not probably the perfect time to do so.
when im suppose to pay attention to other important stuffs.
which definitely all the problems i need to deal of right now.

and the fact that im so good with hiding my feelings.
hide them.
dont let them show.
keep the feelings to myself.
theyre not to be revealed.
its a secret.

at least for now.

im having a serious thought to move on.
guess i can do it.
thanks to you.

...
...

its so hilarious. haha. bodoh sangat.:P

isnin!T.T

my weekend was so full with non-stop busy schedule. helping umi jaga kaunter. then kul 10 kena gi ofis kak biha. teman setel everything. tolong kak Jie pindah rumah baru. malam follow kak biha bawak orang gi dinner. that was on saturday.

hari ahad.
went to Persada. ada furniture fair.

Persada --> City Square --> Pasar Malam --> Angsana --> Larkin Sentral --> Bakar Batu

yang Bakar Batu tu kami attend customer gak. makan kat kedai ayam penyek.
sedapp wooo!

so tired. (-__-)" nak mandi malam-malam pon da malas. hewhewhew.

bestnya esok cuti sekolah. nak jadi budak sekolah balek boleh tak?

the sparkle wont lose its color

move on.

anak kampung!

hello friday!!^__^/

its annoying. entry emo. jangan baca kalau taknak stress.

being me, i can easily love someone just by reading her blog. although i never met her. but i can still fall with her by reading her story. the way she wrote about how she feels. the way she described about her love ones. be it her boyfriend yang dah selamat jadi husband or her sons yang da makin besar. her ups and down. and i can be the most loyal and great reader in the world.

but on the other hand, being me (again). i dont like people reading my stories. my disappointment, all the upset-emo-down entries. all the broken-hearted kinda thing all over again. oh dont get me wrong. i just want you to know that if you read this blog, you'll know me. im not the one who loves to tell other people how i feel. kak rai once asked me,

"why you dont want to give me your url add?"

"because i dont want other people to read my story. this is private blog."

"if private blog, asal tak tules dalam microsoft word and simpan sendiri."

*silent moment.

"oh. SEBAB if tules dalam word, theres no excitement in that. i cant post any videoclip that i like.XDD"

Okay!

the thing is.

if you read from my first entry. maybe you'll understand what im talking about.:b i can still tolerate if you are one of my bestfriends that really care about me. okay. put aside ekin.(because shes my best blog reader). heee. and dir (just found out that she loves to read my patheticraptastic life story. huhu)

because they are my bestfriends!

and bestfriend

they dont judge. remember?

they support each other.

other than those ppl, please dont leave here without a trace. still.. i need to know who you are.

...
...

because silent strangers can be so annoying.

thats all.

love that consumes you

its not just she makes him a better person.

she does. but he changes her, too.

challenges her.

surprises her.

he makes her question her life.

beliefs.

its either the best thing for her.

or the worst.

gossip gurls! XOXO!!~

kisah semalam.

i went to larkin right after i finished my work. i was fasting and tired. penat tu tak penat sangat la. sebab aku busy main fesbuk je for the whole day kat opis. astu yan sebok mesej suh datang sana. and i was like "kekpi tak taw jalan dari opis ke larkin." hewhewhew. tapi last skali aku pegi jugak la. maen hentam je. tanya-tanya orang. naseb baek sampai. thank God.:)

bukak posa ngan kak wa. dan yang laen teman kitorang makan. after solat maghrib, tolong kak wa kemas baju dia yang maha banyak. (dia tak kemas since habis belajar kat bandung ritu.-.-") oohhh. dan banyak jugak baju-baju yang super cantek yang disedekahkan kat kami. maka kami pon sangat gembira.^__^/

sesi bergossip! astu bila da malam cam malas nak drive balek rumah. umi bada pon tak bagi balek rumah malam-malam. oohhh. terpaksa la overnight sana. gi kedai baju depan rumah beli pakaian? eerkk. beli bra 5 hengget. kau mampu? hehe.

astu after kak biha+husband dia balek rumah mereka, kami pon mulakan sesi bergosip kembali. kak qish, kak wa, yan and me! me! me!~ actually nak discuss pasal game yang Yan perlu organize untuk tourist yang nak gi tioman arini. ehem. tourist la sangat. officem8 abg kamil je kott. astu aku ngan kak wa, since kami layan sume variety show korea esp. runningman ngan 2days1night, so banyakla idea game yang kitorang keluarkan. which banyak yang ditolak mentah-mentah oleh kak qish sebab da tak sempat beli prop. aieeee. esok nak bawak orang, malam ni baru nak prepare.(-__-)"

suddenly.. topic game bertukar jadi topic melodi. yeahhh. XOXO!~

tiba-tiba pukul 12 lebih umi bukak pintu bilik halau sume orang balek bilik masing-masing suh tido.+___+ lintang pukang sume orang keluar bilik. hee~ (padahal dari kul 10 lagi sume orang da ngadu ngantok. tak saba nak tido.:P)

absodamnlutely right!XDD

Untungla ada kazen cam Yan yang taw full detail salasilah+sejarah 7 keturunan kami.:b

...

...

 

 sis.. sy nak bawak orang gi korea je boleh? plissshhhhhh.(0__o) 

the sharp knife of a short life

all the symptoms were really happened.
i dont know how to tell them.
or should i not telling them?
im afraid of hospital.
im afraid of bloods.
im so scared of getting surgery.
God, help me.

like the sun, i will rise again

its not that i dont like jb. to be honest, i prefer k.l compared to jb. maybe because i dont have friends here. i dont know. but when kak huda suddenly text me asking did i already have a house and transport and offered to stay with her, i felt like.. theres still hope in fighting this. Tuhan masih bantu saya. because my boss is still out station, so she asked me to stay HQ. helping other staffs doing their reports. its not bad at all. for me myself, i really want to learn how to do the reports before going to the site. its an advantage to me. tade la bidang terjun sangat, teros kena campak masuk site kan.

tapiiii. disadvantage-nya, i need to find a house near my HQ for this period (which i dont know until when). pastu nanti kena pindah kat site plak. bape banyak kali pindah tah.(-__-)" aritu encik nizam offer stay puchong until dah confirm rumah kat desaru. and i said, its okay. lagi cepat saya datang sini, lagi cepat saya boleh adapt. but now.. i cant wait to go to desaru. the staffs here are all okay and nice. err. for your information, ada 4 staf ke kat sini. bos, kak yan, kak ina and me. which saya sangat la tak boleh kerja dalam ofis dengan staf yang siket. ngantok gla kotttttt. makes me miss Ardh even more.T.T dats the only reason why i really want to go to desaru.

okay. pros and cons.

i was a bit disappointed when they told me that they will send me to Desaru instead of Nusajaya. desaru is so faaaaaar from JB. and theres nothing there. astu dahla umi badar awal-awal lagi dah pesan bila wiken kena turun Larkin. tolong kak qish. ooooh. im so excited okayyy! buat passport cepat-cepat. then leh buat kerja part time dengan kak qish. harini Yan 'dipaksa' folo tourist yang gi Tioman. hehe. dah bos-bos besar sume da biasa gi oversea, bila kena bawak orang gi tempat dalam malaysia, sume orang refuse.:P

umi badar suh sy bawak orang gi USS nanti. everyweek schedule yang sama. kena bawak 2, 3 bas gi sana. i dont mind at all. sebab memang before ni sy da btaw diorang, if sy datang jb, sy nak keje dengan kak qish and kak biha. try handle tourists. astu boleh jadi manager bila diorang nak bukak branch kat melaka. (okay. yang ni berangan.:b)

oh! i just know about this. i guess sy lagi suka keje yang berjumpa dengan orang compare duduk dalam opis. i know. sy sangat memilih. (-__-)" but.. nak buat cane. i just want to find the beauty in my job.XDD

takpon.. this is the only way to heal the bleeding heart. who knows.. i can still find my own happiness here. if it is Gods will, it will happen right? InsyaAllah.

JB, plis be nice to me

safely arrived at JB last sunday. apiez, yan, lah and me. Lah yang bawak kete.XDD anta barang kat rumah sewa. then lepak rumah pak wahab. ketibaan kami disambut dengan meriah. LOLsssss. malam tu kak wa busy berlatih buat surgery pada seketul daging ayam. (habis hancur ayam tu dengan jahitan beliau).-.-" ngeh3.

sempat tanya kak wa pasal tangan sy yang da saket a few months ni. and its unknown disease. which kak wa suh datang sepital untuk scan nanti takot effect tulang. (da macam orang tua. osteoporosis ke hape?-.-")

that night they sent me back home. Lah+apiz naek satu kete. Me n yan folo dari belakang. suddenly there was a roadblock. budak-budak tu kena tahan sebab roadtax da mati. huhu! this is how JB welcome me.:b tapi sebab roadtax baru da ada. cuma belum tampal je lagi. astu polis tu plak jiran diorang kat Larkin. so budak-budak tu dapat lepas la. polis tu mintak no fon kami. lempang nak? gatal plak. astu baru perasan yang tayar kete Lah pancit. kami pon berenti di petronas yang berdekatan untuk tukar tayar.

belajar jalan nak gi opis. dan jalan balek. jalan jb are soooo hard.T.T sume one way.

huwaaaa. saya rindu Ardh!~ rindu karak.

aihhh~

Rabbi yassir wala tuadsir. rabbi atmim bilkhair.

i miss all my friends in puchong so bad.T.T

Karak site visit!

Hairie, ana, faz, kak umi and me went to Yana's site. dari puchong sampai karak dan sampai puchong balek, kami adalah gelak sepanjang masa.-.-" aihhh..

lets cekidaut!

hehehe. poyos kans? adas akus kesahs?:)
alahaiii. baju tak kemas lagi. esok pagi dah kena gi tengkera angkut budak2 tu gi JB. okay. gudnyte!

This kind of frustration?

This love affair between you and I
Do you think it’s worth the try
Hearts to be broken
I wonder if you do this often

You occupy my mind all day and night
I think of things to say to do
What we should do to keep this alive

You love sending chills up my spine
Depending on it most of the time
But for you I’m just an ordinary girl
But you bumped into
Hoping I’ll leave you
Within a month or two

Fears and frustration galore

I’ll never understand you

I’ll never be the girl you long for

I’ll never be the hand you want to hold

And if we go back in time

Would you still be the same person

I’d do it all over again
I’ll try to make you mine

We spent so much time
Looking into each others’ eyes
Looking into each others’ lies
Overlooking reality

I’m feeding on high expectations and happy endings

We were high above the ground or was it just me?

I’ll pull myself out of this confusion
I never meant to be an intrusion
But for you I’m nothing more but just a phase

...

How can they made such a beautiful song and made your heart threatened at the same time. (-__-)"

It is exactly how i feel right now. Terima kasih Yuna. sebab buat lagu untuk insan malang seperti aku.

I wish i didnt fall so hard for you

harini last day aku kat Ardh. my bos gave me permission to go back early. (dia bagi permission kul 10pg) which kul 11 aku da get ready nak balek.:P oh. suppose aku memang nak spend time ngan diorang. tapi tiba-tiba abg sedara aku call cakap kete dah abes repair dan kena amek teros sebab beliau dah nak kena gi klia.

actually i just got the confirmation yesterday. dahla before tu dah beriya nak pujuk bos nak stay kat puchong je. tapi bos suh gi JB jugak sebab peluang belajar lagi banyak. ohh. kecewa yang pertama. astu tiba-tiba dia cakap dah konfem kena report keje isnin depan.(-__-)" ohhhh. lagi stress neh. teros bad mood 1 hari.:P tak kaco sape-sape buat keje pon sebab  da tade mood. kul 11, ana ajak folo dia g PJ. dengan riangnya, teros ikot tanpa banyak bicara. gi makan ayam penyek la. jalan-jalan tengok rumah hantu. ngeh3. mentang2 bos tade kat opis.

astu pagi tadi after dapat amanat-amanat terakhir dari bos, aku pon gi opis seblah. borak lama gla dengan kak ekin. then baru salam-salam dengan opism8. aihhh~ berat hati gla kot. T.T dari laswik lagi aku dah rasa berat ati.-.-" huk.

astu bila tengok Faz nanges, lagi la sedih. tapi.. aku kan manusia-ego-tak-nanges-depan kawan-kawan. i was like "eehhhhh. asal nanges? faz dah nak period eh?" hee~ *sebab aku selalu sensitif time nak period je. hormon tak stabil. ekekeke. Arie, k.umi dengan ana plak sebok suh pujuk bos cakap nak keje kat Ardh teros. aihhh diorang ni. (-__-)" nak buat cane. bos tak sudi terima sy. hewhewhew.

it was only two weeks. and they were so nice to me. Allah gave me a chance to meet so many wonderful people. and i was so touched when k.syahid said "baru 2 minggu, diorang dah sayang ifi. teruskan jadi camni kat tempat baru k." tu belom EO yang super sporting kat karak tu. ambooiii. beriya pujuk suh stay a few days lagi kat sana. tapi aritu aku bawak baju just untuk 1 malam je. maka, agak terkilan kat situ. sebab i tot nexwik kalau tak gi jb, aku nak stay lama sket kat karak. boleh lepak site amin ngan fahmi lama sket. sebab dah expert site yana. seap dah kenal sume general workers dia okay. haha.

despite all these fears and frustration thingy, i was a bit relieved after got a text from kak she.

sis! sy takot nak gi JB. ifi takdak sapa-sapa kat sana. T.T

jangan risau. kak she kan ada.^__^/

okay! dats enough for me. at least ada orang yang take care kat sy. hehe. Alhamdulillah.

to all my friends at Ardh. (yana, kak umi, faz, kak ekin, tasya, hairie, ana, anisa, kak a, kak syahid, fahmi, aizat, amin, arie, kak iza, hafiz, kak anis)

thanx for all your supports, kindness and love that you gave me. really appreciate it.:)

i love you! take care!!~ til we me meet again. InsyaAllah..

Last day!

ohhhh. sedih! T.T

im just saying

sometimes, even if you want to take an easy step in your life, it takes courage too. the bigger step that you made, the bigger mistake that you might have.

blessing.. the thing with "you just have to finish your master. get a good job. only then they will hear what you wanna say. who you wanna be with. and you can make your own decision."

but still.. it didnt work out that way. when they've made up their mind, no one can change it. and i know. they've got power. who are you to tell them to listen to you? to know how you feel. to understand everything about you?

so, its not about you and him anymore. it never was. in fact, its always about them.

and sometimes, even if you know its a mistake, you still want to do it anyway. its in human nature. if its for me, i tend to follow my own instinct. whether its right or not. it goes this way. even if you know its a mistake. there are certain things in life where you know its a mistake but you dont really know its a mistake. because the only way to really know its a mistake is to make the mistake, and look back and say "yep. that was a mistake."

so, the bigger mistake would be not to make the mistake, because then you go your whole life not really knowing if something is a mistake or not.

i feel like its really unfair. i have no right to decide for my own happiness. i cant fight for my future.

in the end... even if i try really hard, i would still lost anyway. because.. i cannot fight alone. no one will be there for me. no one.

im just saying. i dont blame you tho. i never was. its nobody's fault. its a mistake that i would rather do it. because i still have a little faith in me.

there was a time when i still havent finish my master, people asked "do you have a boyfriend?" without further adieu, i would answered "no. im still single. tolong carikan someone untuk saya plishhhhh.." but then, when ive got a job. so manyyyyy ppl asked "are you single?" some of them terus tengok jari to see whether theres a ring attach to it or not. i was so speechless. and after a few secs, i replied "theres a guy.. but.. i dont even know samada kami betul-betul ada jodoh ke tak. banyak sangat dugaan yang datang."

i dont know why i answered like that.

...
...

"hey sis.. thanx for your concern. im just a girl. and my heart is so fragile."

i really mean it when i said i can see your bad sides. but i can still tolerate and understand it. because i know you beyond that. that explains a lot why theres always a part of me that still cannot let you go no matter how hard i tried. because i never wanted to...

tomorrow.. 14th May 2012. its been a year i knew you. watching fast 5 at the curve. me and my noob thingy. tak pernah makan meatball. maka agak jakun ketika itu. and 3 days later, we went to bukit tinggi. i miss those moments so much.

but its just a mistake that i would never regret did it in the first place. it seems like a mistake will always be a mistake no matter how beautiful or painful that mistake was.

happy anniversary.