You flew here by mistake

she breathes of mistakes, that she is sure of. but shes happy. emm. is she really happy? screw all that. bak kata sufjan, words are futile devices after all. but she wants to make things better. after all the mistakes that she had done. but she dont know where to begin. okay. thats all.

...oh these times are hard. yeah they're making us crazy. dont give up on me please...

p/s: tak perlu la nak compare. i know im not pretty+brilliant+perfect like her. but you are not perfect either. just shut up. oh yes. im referring this to you. thanx for spoiling my mood today~ screw you!

Just so you know

Theres always a little truth behind every
"Just kidding."

a little knowledge behind every
"I dont know."

a little emotion behind every
"I dont care."

and..

a little pain behind every
"Its okay."

i miss someone so bad.
awww.. full with emotions~
T__________T

Me as the prettiest girl on the entire space.^^

I’m trying to smile brightly but
I don’t like it
I’m not pretty, I’m not beautiful

I’m trying to sing but
No one is listening
I’m not pretty, I’m not beautiful

Why am I this ugly
What must I do for me to be able to smile brightly like you?

I’m getting angry again, why can’t I ever be perfect
I simply put the blame on my ugly appearance in this broken mirror

Don’t look at me, I hate this feeling right now
I want to hide away somewhere, I want to escape
This world is full of lies

I think I’m ugly
And nobody wants to love me
Just like her I wanna be pretty I wanna be pretty
Don’t lie to my face tellin’ me I’m pretty

I think I’m ugly
And nobody wants to love me
Just like her I wanna be pretty I wanna be pretty
Don’t lie to my face cuz I know I’m ugly

Don’t tell me that you can understand me so easily
My ugly and crooked heart may even come to resent you

Don’t force me to talk, I’m not right for you
The cold thorns inside that patronizing gaze suffocate me

Don’t come closer, I don’t even want your concern
I want to leave away to somewhere, I want to shout out
This world is full of lies

There is no such thing as warmth
There is no one by my side

All alone
I’m all alone
I’m always alone

There’s no such thing as warmth
Next to my side, there’s not even anyone to embrace me

I think I’m ugly
And nobody wants to love me
Just like her I wanna be pretty I wanna be prety
Don’t lie to my face tellin’ me I’m pretty

I think I’m ugly
And nobody wants to love me
Just like her I wanna be pretty I wanna be pretty
Don’t lie to my face cuz I know I’m ugly

...

...

...

this song is soooo cool.

even dia ajar orang supaya tak bersyukur.

ekekeke.

'Oh Allah, if I cant have what i want. please let me want what i have.'

(@__@)

my other half

she: sis, how can you convince yourself that hes the one for you? i mean, how can you be so sure hes the right person?

her: i only hold with these 3 things.

first, yakin dia boleh bimbing ke jalan Allah. kita maybe tak sure sejauh mana tahap keimanan dia. tapi as long as dia boleh jadi imam dan ada usaha untuk ke arah yang lebih baik, tu kira dah cukup bagus la.

second, yakin dia takkan main-mainkan kita.

and third, dia takkan buat benda yang kita tak suka. and if he ever did, dia sanggup sacrifice benda tu. yang nombor 3 ni, i always uji dia. bukanla saja-saja nak jadi kejam. tapi yang ni la yang boleh taw how much he would sacrifice untuk orang yang dia cinta. pernah sekali i didnt give him permission dia gi waterfall sebab campur boys and girls. dia nak pergi sangat-sangat, tapi at last he chose to stay. Mostly when i give him choice, he would stay. its not about jealous or what. i know all his friends. but i just taknak dia biasakan diri pentingkan kawan-kawan more than his own family.

thanx sis! love u.:)

Wordless Wednesday #3

talk under folder 'that should be me.'

best tak jadi orang kaya?

putrajaya - bangi

= 5 minutes

*ce imagine bape laju dia bawak.-.-"

when i was just a little girl (part II)

Rambut nak ala2 nick carter. 0__o

and.......

i wasnt looking at you during this time. jangan perasan.-.-" hehe.

when i was just a little girl.

sorang budak hitam. main tepi kolam. lalalallaa.

the chosen one

dear blog..

sometimes when she was being so sensitive towards him over a stupid reason. she felt like giving up on everything. the cry is enough to show that she was hurt. because she thought he didnt see her like how she sees her future with him. like how she puts her hope in him. hoping that he really knows how she feels inside. so please. she hopes that he will put aside his alter ego when he is with her. or else that rainbow will slowly fading away follow the stopping rain.

......

patriotism vs heechulism

im not ashamed for what they did.
and i absodamnlutely know why gov tried really hard to stop them.
but i guess..
that incident have pros and cons
for our country.
and i dont know why..
not so many ppl in this country were aware about this.
why so ignorant?
all i know is the place where i grew up is so lack of freedom to speak.
so, sebagai presiden parti bebas,

saya hanya ingin beritahu,
think twice before you talk.
please talk based on facts.
otherwise, you will just talk crap. *seperti yang aku lakukan sekarang ni. lol.

They are so complicated.
papejela.
ai nak wat kijoo~

"Small minds discuss ppl.
Average minds discuss events.
Higher minds discuss ideas.
but..
GENIUS acts in SILENCE."

Kan aman kalau sume orang leh diam. (+__+) oh! practice what you preach ifi!
layan eechul lagi best. bye.

Magic works!

And dance your final dance
This is your final chance
To hold the one you love
You know you've waited long enough

So, believe
That magic works
Don't be afraid
Of being hurt
Don't let this magic dies
The answer's there
Oh, just look in her eyes

And make your final move
Don't be scared, she want you too
Yeah, it's hard, you must be brave
Don't let this moment slip away...

Now, believe
That magic works
Don't be afraid
Afraid of being hurt
Don't, don't let this magic dies
The answer's there
Oh, just look in her eyes

And don't believe that magic can die
No, no, no, this magic can't die

So dance your final dance
'Cause this is
Your final chance

I read one of my friend's status on fb. she told them about her feelings. whats inside her heart. and i was quite interested on one of the comments. give me some motivations i guess.

she said, "it doesn't matter how long you take to do whatever you got to do. one year, 2 years. but the most important thing is you cross the finishing line. different ppl, diff. capability. so do not bother what others said. Keep it on going and stay strong. tinggal siket je lagi."

and i love this the most!

Act.. i do feel like giving up. yes. give up. im not kidding. because im just too sick and tired of all the journals. i hate it! siriusly. how can i finish something that i dont love to do.

to cpah's cousin, thanx for those words. it kinda make me strong. but.. no matter what. it feels so relieved to find out that there was other ppl who feels just like you do. it gave 'you-are-not-alone' feelings to you. at least for now.




nota kaki: magic works is one of ost Harry Potter - the Goblet of fire.
oh! i just watched that movie for the 2nd time. 1st time dulu time kat matrik Penang. aku+hanis nanges beriya kottt time cedric mati. oh dem. sangat pondan.+__+ but when i watched it for the 2nd time, i still cried when cedric died. paddiaaa.. :p btw.. Nis! aku rindu kat hang! sangat rindu okayyyy~

big fat liar

i didnt intend to lie to you.
i dont get the point why you treat me like a child.
please. dont judge me.

i maybe a little unsure about my future.
but i really want to lead my life in my own way.
thats not mean that i dont need you and your opinion.
its just..
im not ready for that.
if you get what i mean.

i just know that i have a life
and need to keep it simple.
for now at least.
so..
please stop pushing me.
can you leave me alone now?

an overexpensive camera, a beanie and a smile for future.

untuk entry kali ni, aku terpaksa berperang dengan diri sendiri. sebab tak taw nak tulis kat blog ni or blog lagi satu. hee..~ so, for those who doesnt like kpop, diminta beredar dari sini sekarang juga.

i love seeing guys wearing something on their head.

oh. tak. tak. bukan ini maksud saya.-.-"

among suju members, i think this guy has a great taste in style. ehem.. talking about my biased.:p its like, everything yang dia pakai mesti boleh buat aku macam "wah! kau sangat ensem. kau tau tak fakta tu?" and he likes wearing cap, hat or beanie. just name it. tapi aku rasa dia suka pakai sume tu sebab dia malas sikat rambut.-.-"

but of course he wore that thing because he lived in korea. sana sejuk kotttt. (-__-)

oh! sebab tengok pic ni la yang aku tiba-tiba ada satu stage yang gla everything yang berwarna turquoise. balek-balek beli baju kaler tu. tak caye click sini. shawl kaler ijau banyak gla kot. (+__+) typical ifi. memang senang terpengaruh. but now, sume shawl tu dah tak pakai pon.-.-" dahla senang terpengaruh. astu mengamalkan dasar habis madu sepah dibuang plak tu. isk!

but.. honestly.. i prefer beanie compare to cap. dont know why. macam lagi smart? i think.

on my birthday this year, after we had a dinner at Seoul Garden, we went to Alamanda untuk contest suara-siapa-paleng-layak-panggil-hujan. Then suddenly adi datang nak wish birthday. He wore knitted cap. dan aku yang sangat teruja melihatkan mende tu. i asked him where did he get that cap? he said his friend's mom knitted and gave it to him. aku suh dia pujuk mak member dia kaitkan untuk aku jugak. heck. berangan. (-__-)

kami yang agak excited berserta sedikit kejakunan dengan topi beliau.^^

...
...
...

they say, if you want to give something to ppl, its better if you give something that you like/love. tapiiii.. to give sumthg that i really want, i still cannot afford it.-.-"

but.. awak stil comey dalam ni. kekeke..

altho i prefer this one. haha. sorry~

*tak pasal-pasal nak kena tengok album satu2 just because nak carik pic ni.-.-" gigihnya mak. haihh~

its already 3am. qaliz dah tertido2 tunggu aku masak megi untuk beliau. hee~ sorry beb. ni sume salah aca. suh rebus ayam plak. 0__o okay. stop here. bye.

p/s: maybe that is why i really love this pic.

oh!

Alhamdulillah...^^

I guess its really over

After 10 years. i still cant believe its really coming to an end.-.-" i was 14 when i started to follow Harry Potter's series. i kept borrowed my cousin's book. yelah. nak beli mahal sangat. tapii tu pun still tak sedar diri.

I always complained to him every time i borrowed his book.
"Apsal beli buku bm???"
"Alaaa.. nanti kalau beli yang B.I aku plak yang tak paham."
"Heckkkk. mak ko cikgu english kotttt."

hehe. sorie Dan!:p and for the last Harry Potter movie, I wish i cud watch it with you. (+__+) hmm.. after we booked tix for this movie, kitorang cam tak keruan kot. Aca, Huda, Qaliz and me since we are really die hard fans of Voldy. ekekeke. Lastnyte cam takleh tido sebab excited sangat. hee..^^

14 July 2011
9.30 pm. We had dinner at Restaurant Sharifah. Makan-makan + lepak until 11pm. Then baru gerak. We used SKVE highway. Masuk Putrajaya and menuju ke Alamanda. Adi yang jadi driver kami.

Then, suddenly Aca tanya "kita nak pergi mana ni?".

After a few seconds of silent moment, then serentak Huda, qaliz and I jerit..
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.. Adiii! salah jalan! Kita kena gi IOI Mall. bukan Alamanda!"

haha. tu la. semangat sangat. sampai lupa semua menda. Its not out fault pun. memang b4 ni kitorg layan movie kat alamanda. but this time, tiba-tiba Alamanda full house plak. tepaksa beli tix kat IOI. 0__o Luckily kami gerak awal. so tak kesah la salah jalan pon kan.:p

11.45pm
We reached at GSC counter. When we checked out booking tix no., there was no book details to be found.-.-" Diorang cakap kami tak book pon. padahal dah bayar kott. But then, we realised that it was all misunderstanding. Bila booking online, dia tulis date 14 July 2011, 12.30am. So meaning movie tu pagi khamis la. Bukan pagi jumaat. GSC system salah. kami pun salah jugak. -__- but after all the negotiations, manager dia bagi jugak kitorang tengok.

Terharu gla kott... I cant even remember how many times me and Qaliz hugged each other sebab terharu..:p Time awal-awal, assistant manager cam takleh tolerate. Aku cam frust nak nanges kot.-.-" Ingat tak dapat tengok Harry. T__T isk! Bila Manager dia bagi permission and asked us to follow him. Kitorang lalu kat person in charge check ticket tu. He said "Ticket please." Then manager tu terus bagi isyarat tangan "No. its okay. they come with me." heeee~ Sangat V.I.P okay. Ko hado? hahaha. Thank you sooo much! time kaseh atas budi bicara tuan.

But.. anyway.. it went really well.. Neville as our hero. Harry and his awesome friends were never failed me. As usual la kan.:p And the saddest part is, i will be missing voldy after this!:(

Macam tak sangka sume orang dah besar. (-___-) dah. diam la ifi!

The magnificent tale of a boy wizard name Harry Potter was already end. I guess this is also the end of my childhood. Its time for me to grow up. (@__@)~ Oh. demmit.

Wordless Wednesday

im dying, i need you.

ive been replaying this song like forever in my head.
he was never disappoint me. not even once.
his lyric has always touched me deeply in my heart.
i know hes an honest person.
i can memorized all the lyrics of his songs.
its like.. i can feel all his pain.
and the hardships that he had to go through in his life.

i still remember. when i was still in my 1st year at UMT.
one day, i listened his song namely 'superman'.
i sang that song from the start til the end
when one of my buddy (aca) asked me curiously,
"kau tengah berzikir ke fie?"

???
...
...
...

Auch! thats hurt.. +__+

i was speechless and having a tot,
'maybe i shud stop from being too addicted with eminem's song.'
ekekeke. thanx ca!-.-"

hmm..
eminem's voice has a way to make me feel at ease.
tho this is a sad song. 0__o

sometimes i wonder..
what if someone dear to your heart has to fight between life and death.
i do wonder if its better to just let it go easily.


but no matter what, i guess this words can always make me strong.

dont you feel the same?
after all, we are just human.
Percaya kepada qada' dan qadar adalah rukun iman ke 6.
semoga Allah panjangkan umur ibubapaku, ahli keluargaku dan mereka yang aku sayangi.
amin.^^

notes: bagus jugak lagu eminem ni. buat orang ingat mati. hee~

shes not an easy cat!

Kisah Si Perempuan Pemalas. *nada doremon

shes so adorable and cute.
lemah lembut.
sopan santun.

satu hari, tiba-tiba anak dia hilang. mungkin diambil orang. atau mungkin dah mati.-.-" beberapa hari jugakla beliau meroyan.(T__T) kesian sungguh. lepas dah okay, beliau kembali aktif dan menjadi annoying seperti sediakala. tapiii.. yang buat kami hairan, dia sentiasa faham apa yang kami suruh. i mean she cud understand everything okayyyy. kalau tak bagi tido atas tilam, dia terus faham n tido tepi tilam. bila cakap jangan kaco, terus dia maen sorang-sorang tanpa perlu hirau orang lain. yang pasti.... dia seperti seorang manusia yang terperangkap dalam badan kucing! hehe. okay. exaggerate.:p

but now.. dia semakin manja dan mengada-ngade. rasa nak cepuk je. dahla nak conquer tilam dengan aku. (+__+) ive to squeeze myself untuk tidak kaco tempat dia tido. oh demmit.-.-"

but.. anyway.. we love you cleo!
love you sooooo much!!!~

mmuahxxx!^__^

hello hello master.^.^

dia mampu tido 23 jam sehari. 0__o kalau bangun pon hanya untuk makan dan berak. taw tak kau maken demok cleo. sampai kitorang ingat dia pregnant. oh! tipah tetipo. (@__@) maybe i shud train her after this. kita gi joging sama-sama k? *err.. joging? binatang apa tu?

padddiiaaa muka nak penat macam orang baru balek cangkul tanah.+__+

homaigod! kiutttt!!~ *pengsan. okay. tak jadi nak bebel banyak-banyak.-.-"

act.. im not really used with cats. my family didnt raised any animal even haiwan sekecik hamster. rabbit dan kucing apatah lagi. but here.. be with cats lover macam qaliz+huda, i started to love cat. dulu takot gla kot kena cakar.-.-" tapiii.. lately cleo makin aktif n suka cakar orang. tak kesah la tu. dia dikecualikan. nah! amek ni. i dedicate lagu paramore 'the only exception' to you cleo!:)

"but darling you are only exception."

note: kucing kami lagi cantek dari kucing kau eechul. dah. takyah nak belagak lagi.

omjay. sama la perangai korang!

just another cinderella story

he gave me his watch.
the watch that he didnt use anymo.
but i guess i should gv him sumthg back aite?
susahnya nak cari barang untuk lelaki.-.-"
any suggestion?

hmm.. kalau nak beli barang untuk gurlz senang je.
sebagai contoh, kasut polkadot yang sangat anggun dan menawan ini.^^

*memandang dengan mata yang bersinar-sinar dan penuh harapan. (+__+)


p/s: awak tak belikan hadiah birthday sy lagi kan? oh! takde niat apapon. saja ingatkan.-.-" tapiii.. kalau nak bagi kasut bata pun sy terima jugak. T__T *nada pasrah.

A very touching story

Among all the 'clean' vids that i watched, this vid really touched my heart.
They called her 'Malaysian Lady of Liberty'.

Thank you for being an inspiration for us.
Im so proud of you.
like.. seriously proud.
thanx again!

notakaki: Cant help it! i dont wanna get involve with whats going in this country.(sy kan parti bebas. lol). or dengan ayat mintak pelempang yang lain, (sy kan rakyat korea). but.. i still want to post this vid.0__o at least i didnt post it tru fb ryte? okay. dimaafkan. hee~:)

counting the days!

oh! tak sabar nak jumpa beliau!

im sexayyyy bebeh!

Peels?

Theres 24 hours in one day.
but...
but why i was able to sleep 25hours in a day??


...
...
...

Siapa yang sanggup beristerikan seorang yang malas bangun pagi, kuat tidur melainkan makan kambing sambil bermain fesbuk seperti saya?=.="


p/s: oh! yes! saya dalam fasa yang sangat malas. awak! sila deam. (+__+)
*peels is sleep in backward. hee~

haha. sumpah comel!!~^__*

-ZackZukhairi collection-

Aku berubah kerana mereka

Frankly speaking, I dont love reading. if i were to recall, theres only a few novel that i really love and still remember about it. The collection of Sweet Valley's stories. eh. tu je kott. *tu pon sebab hero dalam novel tu ensem. Other than that, theres no english novel laen yang mampu menggugat dan menarik hati aku ni.:p But.. when i met my bestfriend at UMT, ive changed. i became someone who really love reading books. all the novels. cecilia ahern, jk rowling, collection mars vs venus, national geography. he was so kindhearted to gv me many books as a presents for me. paling teruk dan malas pon, if time tu siriusly takde buku, aku amek majalah CLEO sebagai bahan bacaan. but.. sometimes, i guess reading blogs also can make me feel calm and enjoy at the same time.^^

hmm.. thats only in term of hobby. now.. ive met someone. someone who can change me. they said i must be someone yang ego+suka jeles. and i asked them why? and then they replied "sebab hidung kau tinggi."-.- oh. now i know. aku macam akui keadaan ni.:p tapiii.. kuat cemburu tu ye. Ego? i dont know. maybe. hu.. but one thing for sure, aku tersangatttt la degil dan keras kepala. now.. after i met him. i guess i can tolerate with everything. or maybe thats because i like him so much. saya menjadi makin penyabar. :D i can tolerate with my feelings. rindu macam mana pon, aku still stable kot. tahla. i mean.. if dulu, aku da merengek-rengek gi bilik qaliz kottt. "qaliz.. aku rindu!!!!~ please entertain me. jom gi karok. shopping kat sunway ke. plis plis plisssss!!~" even gi buang sampah dan isi minyak pon aku sanggup follow kot as long as menda tu dapat distract aku dari rindu kat orang lain. hah.. lebih kurang camtu la. haha. but i hope.. i pray that this situation will lasting forever. not only for a while. tanpa dugaan kita tak tahu tahap kesabaran kita right? rindu tu satu dugaan yang menyeksakan taw tak?0__o

Its not because i dont want to put so much hope in this relationship.-.-" i just.. dont want to be disappointed and get hurt if we are really not meant to be together.

'Tuhan.. i may be a very bad servant to you. but.. i believe in you.. please grant my prayers. temukan jodoh ku dengan dia. jika dia memang tidak ditakdirkan untukku, jauhkan la dia dariku. Please.. No one can help us. except you. ya Allah. terimalah doa hamba mu ini yang imannya senipis kulit bawang. Pretty please?'


kepada awak,
thanx for changing me to a better person. happy 2 months anniversary. eh baru 2 bulan? (^__*)

p/s: macam nak carik buku ni kat mph. jom!



*credit pic roa. sekian.

Welcome back dear.

Hello peepss..~
so today 10 July bersamaan birthday my sweetie pie encik eechul.. secara rasminya i announce this is my new blog. pop! paaaappppp!!~ pop kebabom!!~ *okay. tu dia bunyik mercun.

*hanabi festival, japan. credit to ayuk.^^

emm. why i decide to make a new blog? i dont know.-.-" my first blog has teach me whats life mean. jatuh bangun aku as student. my relationship with friends, family, bf. you name it. and most of all things, of course la banyak pasal percintaan saya dengan eechul. ekekeke.:p

but this blog.
i want to keep it as my private blog. because my previous blog agak tak selamat nak bicara tentang hati dan perasaan. i dont trust you. you. you. and you. naaa.. aku tipu.:p its because everyday, ppl can access to my blog when they search about super junior. all over the world kotttt. korea, japan, US, bla bla bla.. its been soooo long since the last entry about my real feelings. i mean.. all the hatred. frustrated. and things like that.

kenapa pelangi dan pulau? i always believe in this words. "theres always a rainbow after the rain". no matter how stress you are, how frustrated you are, dugaan besar macam mana pun. we will get something better after that. Allah wont let us down. just keep having faith in Him. everybody must be still searching their own 'pelangi'. kebahagiaan yang hakiki. and until we reach to that point, we must keep holding on and dont give up.

...dan pulau! i just love pulau sooooo much! no reason actually. hee~ for your information, im the person who really hates sweating. gedik tak? ye saya taw. sangattt heechul kan. :b so please dont ask me to accompany you to jogging di taman botani putrajaya or whatsoever. (+__+) . And water on the other hand, korang mandi panas-panas kat laut, kalau berpeluh pon bukan rasa kan.:p i dont like freshwater.-.-" in fact aku sangatla penakut dengan air tawar. terpaksa berenang di sungai Pahang yang kau sorang je perempuan time tu adalah suatu perkara yang sangatttt scary. 0__o Apart from that, terpaksa merentas anak sungai di Tasek Chini juga merupakan menda yang sangat menakutkan. moreover, when you abso'damn'lutely dont have any idea whats inside the water. nak-nak bila kau lagi takot kepada ular compare to sharks. kesimpulannya, i hate freshwater. hee~ paddia nak memilih sangat ni. emm.. i have my own 'pulau wishtlist'. Antaranya jejudo, sipadan, krabi (ayat nak macam karangan pelajar tingkatan 2). cukup la tu. nak gi great barrier reef macam sangat tak mampu la kan. but pulau jeju saya sangattttt la teringin nak pergi. okay. (@__@)

So.. i really want to put so much hope and effort in this new blog. to create a new memory. a new experience. this is my new territory nowwww! okay. wish me luck! love you!!~^__^ *to whoever read this entry.:) take care and gudnyte.

Hope, faith, peace, love, believe... Life surely is beautiful!~^__^